if you want a happy post go elsewhere...

You have been warned. If you want happy and joyful then please go to the labels section and find gratitude Sunday... if you want raw, exposed and feeling like garbage than please feel free to read on...

I participate in the gratitude posts mostly as a forceful reminder to myself to think of what good I do have. I am a very passionate person and can go from half full to no its empty quickly. I am unsure if it is my hormones due to my cycle, the decrease in nursing, change of weather, the boys birthday or the realization of my Gamas death anniversary but that feeling of overwhelming has hit me like a brick wall.

Some surefire ways to make you feel like a giant failure at motherhood and being a wife. A giant smack in the face that something needs to change:

"You never smile anymore. you use to be so giggly and full of joy but now you crack a smile for a second and it's gone"

Ryguy rubbing my back while I lay on the couch "You are always either at work or sleeping..."

"I have to make dinner, tend to the kids, deal with the family and clean the house and you still can't even cuddle or watch a movie with me..."

" You hate everything I like..."

The list goes on. This of course turned my self loathing into hatred and although I've struggled with suicidal thoughts before it amplified them 10x. Honestly I have struggled with this on and off for 4 years. I have reached out to my doctor and we are starting with a treatment plan. He is surprised as can be that we have fought these demons for this long with nothing bad happening. My previous tools are no longer working and apparently I need some new ones. I am praying for hope, guidance and mostly peace through this transition as honestly it scares the ever loving crap out of me.  I also need prayers for healing. This emotional roller coaster I am on is throwing my fibro nuts. I honestly feel as if I have the flu but I don't. Just the stress. If I am gone for awhile please don't worry and please just keep my family in your thoughts as we are going to need all the help we can get at this point.

*hugs*

Nature walk finds

This morning we went on a hunt looking for leaves to dip in beeswax however found better treasures!  Three distinct mushrooms all with different personalities, colors and shapes. We are testing spore prints now with the instructions from here. 

We are so excited to share some of these prints with our friends from the nature pal exchange. 

1 week until deadline!

Lots of breakdowns and new appliances

Some time to reflect on the last week and share some things that have made me grateful.

 No time to be depressed when you are happy for what you have.

**********************

learning a new skill to enhance our nature walks and exchanges. *new blog post to follow*

 finally getting custody of Mark's bird from his mother's house. She is fitting it quite nicely however we are having to work a bit harder than anticipated to socialize her as she sat forgotten for a long time...

 my brother graciously buying us a new washing machine 3 times bigger than our previous model that recently caught on fire. Luckily no damage was done to the house after it sparked.

stars made from our goldenrod dyed yarn. These will be for headbands for the Michaelmas seasons.

after a basement flooding due to a broken sump pump I found some old family photos. Anyone else see my brother and Giddy?

being able to afford a new sump pump.

finally making the 100 list for homeschooling blogs. Please feel free to check out some of the other blogs here

finally finishing Gid's placenta painting to hang on our wall. Its only 2 years late but finally done!

late night selfies while toddler wearing. It was the only way to save my arms and back from the constant up/down that the little king demanded.

 

and the most meaningful for last...

 yesterday I had the privilege of having my house overrun with laughing/screaming children and a few hardworking men and women to help install a new furnace for us. Our good friend nominated us and Compass Heating and Air came out to install the new Lennox furnace, all for free. It is super small and quiet compared to our 20 year old beast and everyone had a great time despite the crappy weather and setbacks in the install. I feel very blessed right now to still have some good in our not so nice world. This complete build was worth several thousand dollars and it costed more than anticipated as we had even more defective and cracked pieces than we all could have imagined. 

Thank you again everyone who made yesterday a success.

 

finally a gratitude post on the right day...

Some time to reflect on the last week and share some things that have made me grateful.

 No time to be depressed when you are happy for what you have.

**********************

roasting marshmallows and enjoying an end of summer bonfire

organizing the overflowing Tupperware cabinet... 

weeding and clearing out the garden. I'm considering some mums for fall but planting some bulbs for spring.

being nominated by a dear friend for a new furnace and winning. Installation is scheduled for October 1 and a ton of prep work needs to be done.

a successful quilling lesson for grade 7. This project was a huge test of will and patience but he even agreed " You were right... It looks a lot better completely filled in."

preparing for Michaelmas which is one of my favorite festivals.

a good cry while gardening as I watched hubby finally disassemble Shemps old crate. I don't really cry often and find myself bottling emotions so it was a bit overdue.

remembering to post gratitude Sunday on a Sunday vs a Monday.

What are you thankful for?

Goldenrod goodness

Over this weekend we went on a nature walk to collect goldenrod flowers for dying yarn. Originally the plan was to make flying stars for Michaelmas however that will not be happening so I may just use this fun yarn for another project.

 

I found this process to be fairly simple however I am unsure of how color fast it is. Only time will tell after the final projects are made.

We chopped off all of the flowers and threw them in a pot of water then let it heat for about an hour or so without boiling.

I then strained the flowers through some muslin fabric and a colander with a toddler underfoot and managed not to spill any of the hot liquid on his newly bald head. Score!

I threw about half of the tiny bottle of Alum powder in and it clouded within the dark brown and turned to a super bright gold. Chemistry is awesome. I threw in about half of a skein of the wool yarn. This dye will not work on acrylic yarn so if you try this at home please don't waste your time!  

Rinse and let dry in the ucky bathtub which is highly overdue for a cleaning but obviously I'm too busy crafting instead.

It is still drying currently from last night but I cant wait to make something from it!

reflections

Some time to reflect on the last few weeks and share some things that have made me grateful.

 No time to be depressed when you are happy for what you have.

************************

 

walking around my work community garden and seeing the flowers. Tiny bits of sunshine even in a crowded cubical...

 

My 3 baldielocks...

 

the beheaded pinata from the birthday worn as a hat...

taking a certain pug for a walk while he looks at me all stupidly. Hi-ya mom!

a nature walk that included climbing trees and collecting goldenrod for dying. I am so excited for how it will turn out!

What are you grateful for today?

2016-2017 Curriculum choices

I know its a bit late than never however here are some of the resources that we are using this 2016-2017 school year. I have currently a frehsman, a 7th grader and a first grader.

Beanie-9th grade
Blocks:
Biology: http://www.gavirtuallearning.org/Resources/ScienceResources/ScienceShared/SharedBiology.aspx
Geology: http://www.gavirtuallearning.org/Resources/Geology.aspx
Art history AP http://www.gavirtuallearning.org/Resources/FineArtsResources/FAShared/SharedAPArtHistory.aspx


All year:
Language arts- http://www.gavirtuallearning.org/Resources/ELAResources/ELAShared/Shared9thLitComp.aspx


Math- Life of Fred Algebra
Youth group at church





Mark- 7th grade
Blocks: Waldorf essentials 7th grade-loosely
Joan of Arc
Renaissance
Wish papers
physiology
physics
Nature study


Math- Life of Fred Fractions, Decimals and percent and pre algebra 0
Homeschool Ceramics in the spring




Nanners- 1st grade
Waldorf Essentials first grade
nature study
Awana Sparks

 Our students and teacher!