I do apologize for
the lack of posts lately. Between the plague (the flu, bronchitis and
pneumonia) and myself finally blowing up the engine of my little black car it’s
been a hectic few weeks. Randy and I have been married over 5 years now and it
seems that we always have had struggles. Between 5 moves and job changes,
custody disputes with crazy exs, sensory kiddo and our own health issues it has
been a very trying marriage. They always say if you can get through the first 5
years you are set... I can say at times we barely survived. It finally hit
probably its worst peak since our marriage starting as now we have custody of
all 7 and our changing of values. Some of the olders missed that memo and have
tried straining our family life and started providing a not so good example to
my littles. This of course infuriated me.
For a while I begged
Randy to knuckle down and enforce our hard fast rules however my husband is a
peacemaker. It was very stressful for me to consistently be the bad guy and
sometimes kids just need to hear it from Dad vs Step-mom. I do not want to be
that woman that everyone hates in the Disney movies. There are running jokes as
is from their mother’s family that I only feed them seaweed and kale and I’m a
hippy that practices witchcraft…. Yes. Really.
We finally had a
discussion and really considered divorce. Not a happy conversation but one that
was truly needed. We did not have a consistent rhythm and lived our life
previously by the seat of our pants. We did decide some major changes had to be
made but that we did want to try to save our marriage. My husband did blow me
away when he did reach out to my church for help as he is not a Christian but
wanted some council for both of us from people that I trust and respect.
We have finally
started getting some major bugs worked out after a massive family meeting.
Randy has really stepped up and laid down the law. Homework is now being
completed and the house couldn’t look better. I am not sure how long this will
all last however I’ll take what I can get.
We have started going
through The Smart Stepfamily Marriage: Keys to Success in the Blended Family to
try to continue working on communication and building our marriage back up. I
do like that it is targeted and geared towards 2nd
marriages/relationships. Many marriage books I have seen were made for first
marriages however they do not have some of the obstacles that we do such has
blended families and exs.
We also started
working and planning a quilt together. Randy’s grandmother taught him to quilt
forever ago and now her health is on the strong decline. We decided we would
try to work together on this project before she passes. It is bright, colorful
and simple so I’m hoping to have it finished before Easter.
I am hopeful we can
get this resolved and get through this rough patch so if you would like to pray
for our family it would be appreciated.
